Monday, 4 June 2012

I tell my Doctor I'm sick. He tells me to eat healthily. I already do eat healthily. What do I do now?

Finding health advice just doesn't relate to you?
 Follow me as I find my own way. 

Health blogs, recipe books, and advice from so-called "experts" all have one thing in common: they mean absolutely nothing when I relate them to the intricate workings and demands of my stomach. 

Health blogs and experts advise me to stop eating unhealthy foods in order to feel better - but I don't eat unhealthy foods. And no, that isn't a lie. My definition of unhealthy is over-eating on dried fruit or consuming too much yoghurt. Recipe books, meanwhile, show me how to make meals out of a hundred different ingredients. That's great, but I'm a student: I have a cupboard, half a shelf in a fridge, half a shelf in a freezer, and a budget which does not afford buying flavourings simply because they make the dish look better on a plate (not to mention the fact that my stomach cannot take unnecessary ingredients). The recipe books also show me how to cook from a fantastic list of choices. Unfortunately though, the large majority of recipes have at least one food which I can't eat. Why can't I eat them? Well, because I have a stomach which likes to be spoon-fed simple portions and gets a little confused by multi-coloured plates, a little frightened by a massive bowl of food sliding down my throat, and a little moody at just about anything which doesn't adhere to the two rules above.

The intricate details of my stomach are hardly private news: I announce them at every dinner table, every trip away, and in just about every conversation which involves food. The next logical step in this openness must only be to shout out on the platform of Blogger: 'Howdie! I have the weirdest stomach condition ever! Wanna see me regurgitate?'

In 2010, having tried two medications complete with their side-effects, I was advised to 'experiment' with my stomach to find out what worked. Medical Science can diagnose it, attempt to cure it, but other than that it hasn't got a clue. Since 2010 I have been doing exactly this: trying out different routines, experimenting with foods, drawing charts, and recording my symptoms. For a while I had it almost perfect. Now I'm experimenting again, except that this time you get to share the fun. 

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